I do miss him. I just can't be the one to call or to email or to visit.

I don't know where he went and I don't know why.

It doesn't make me feel any better to hear things like that. Someday maybe, but, we're so different; he’s so far above me and I don't deserve anything like that. He deserves so much more than anything I can offer. And we want different things from life. And I wouldn't want to give up myself because then would I be happy enough to be with someone like him. I'm boring and I worry a lot and I'm co-dependant and I'm irresponsible and sometimes I'm arrogant and I take people for granted and I manipulate and I lie sometimes and I'm a hypocrite and I just don't think that I could do it.