A Letter

The very first time I met you I knew that there was something about you that would not let me go. Captivated may be the word I'm looking for. I think it was the way you looked at me like we already had a secret to laugh about when no one else was around. You didn't say much, but then you never really do. I like to watch you, to study your face. You aren't very good at hiding what you are feeling. Everything you feel is so raw and it shows on your face when you speak. Maybe that's why you have to numb yourself.

I know that I don't mean as much to you as you do to me but with someone like you that doesn't matter much. Any piece of you lent to me is enough to sustain. For a while at least. Then it sets in. The feeling of being separated from you. To not be able to look at you and see that innocence that you still carry with you like a mother carries a child. Part of her.

Last night I could tell. I could feel the change. Your eyes darted from one thing to another. I was there but you didn't really see me. You weren't really there either though were you.

You looked me in the eyes and you said "If I make it, it will be because you believed in me." Please don't put that on me. I'm not strong enough. You won't fail. But it won't be because of me. It will be because you have finally realized what it is I see in you that you cannot.